LIVING TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE: IS PAKISTAN’S YOUTH QUIETLY BREAKING THE RULES?

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2025-04-28T15:35:52+05:00 Minelle Imran

In a society where family honor and cultural traditions often dictate the boundaries of relationships, the idea of living together before marriage has long been considered taboo in Pakistan. But beneath the surface of public morality and conventional expectations, a quiet shift seems to be underway. As cities grow more cosmopolitan and digital culture blurs once rigid lines, a growing number of young Pakistanis are questioning and, in some cases, quietly redefining the rules around love, commitment, and cohabitation. 

For some, living together is not a rebellion but a practical choice. Rising costs of living, delayed marriages due to career priorities, and the desire to truly understand a partner before making a lifelong commitment are fueling the change. In private, whispered conversations, you’ll hear the same sentiment repeated: “It’s better to know someone fully before signing a nikkah nama.”

Of course, the reality is far from widespread. Outside of select circles in major urban hubs like Karachi, Lahore, and Islamabad, living together without marriage still risks severe social backlash, if not from the law, then from the ever-watchful eye of societal judgment. For many, secrecy becomes a survival tactic — rented apartments under one name, vague explanations to families, and private lives guarded like state secrets.

Critics argue that cohabitation undermines the fabric of Pakistani society, where marriage is seen not just as a personal choice but as a binding contract between families. They warn of eroding values, weakened commitments, and moral decay. Supporters, on the other hand, frame it as a necessary evolution, a way for individuals to make informed decisions about lifelong partnerships in a world where divorce rates are steadily climbing even in conservative societies.

The truth lies somewhere in between, a tension between tradition and modernity, between what is said publicly and what is quietly practiced behind closed doors. Pakistan’s youth is not staging a loud revolution. They are navigating a complex, changing world with quiet defiance, writing new rules for themselves in a society that still clings tightly to the old ones.

By: Minelle Imran

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