Shazaf Moonis is a seasoned Psychologist with over 20 years of experience spanning tech, healthcare, and education. Across these diverse sectors, one insight stood out: relationships are central to healing, growth, and success. This understanding inspired her to launch Linkked, a platform built on the power of meaningful connection.
While Linkked for Business helps professionals cultivate trusted networks and stronger working relationships, she has now expanded it to Linkked for Life (LFL), which addresses a growing need in the personal realm. Designed for elite singles, LFL offers a safer, smarter alternative to digital dating, combining psychological screening with a value-driven approach to matchmaking.
We deserve more than damage control. We deserve safety from the start
Recognized by the TEDx community as a business leading with purpose, Linkked is setting a new standard — raising awareness about the risks of modern dating and creating spaces where connection is guided by care, trust, and integrity.
Today, we sit down with Shazaf to explore how LFL is reshaping the dating landscape, especially for single women, by shedding light on the often-overlooked risks of modern dating apps and casual introductions, and why a safety-first approach is not just important, but essential when choosing who we allow into our lives.
Being a high achiever doesn’t make you immune. It’s not about success — it’s about being human in a world that treats singleness as a flaw
You’ve worked at Meta and studied at Columbia, yet your focus now is on emotional safety in digital dating. What drew you to this very specific, yet deeply under-discussed, crisis?
As a Clinical Psychologist, I’ve spent years working with high-performing individuals, people who seemed to have it all together on the surface. But time and again, I saw how a painful or toxic relationship could completely unravel them. It wasn’t just heartbreak, it affected their confidence, mental health, even their ability to function at work. I kept thinking: “Why are we only helping people after the damage is done?”
Over time, I started hearing more disturbing stories. People are misled, scammed, or emotionally harmed through dating apps. Married individuals posing as single. Fake identities. Emotional manipulation. And no real systems in place to protect people. Especially women.
Smart women don’t miss red flags — they override them to protect the illusion of the relationship
I left Meta in 2024 and expanded my work to launch Linkked for Life — a platform built to prevent emotional harm before it happens. Because this isn’t just about dating. It’s about ending single shaming, protecting vulnerability, and restoring dignity and trust to how people meet.
We deserve more than damage control. We deserve safety from the start.
Your platform Linkked is rooted in relationship-building. What patterns have you observed among high-functioning professionals when it comes to emotional manipulation in the dating world?
Being a high achiever doesn’t make you immune. At the end of the day, it’s not about success, it’s about being human in a world that often treats singleness as a flaw.
Dating apps thrive on urgency and illusion — not safety or emotional care
I’ve seen this vulnerability play out time and again, even among the most accomplished people. When it comes to relationships, they’re not just navigating emotional terrain, they’re also contending with silent societal pressures: the fear of being alone, the expectation to “settle down,” and the deeply ingrained belief that being single means something’s missing.
These forces can cloud judgment and lead even the most rational, grounded individuals to overlook red flags or rush into unsafe situations. And unfortunately, that vulnerability is often exploited, especially for women.
The most dangerous manipulation tactics are the ones that don’t look like manipulation at all
From trust issues to safety risks, the digital dating space can be a minefield. In your experience, what are the most common red flags that smart, accomplished women still tend to miss?
It absolutely is a minefield, and one that should never be navigated alone. Society plays a powerful role in shaping how we approach relationships, especially for women.
Smart, accomplished women often do see the red flags. But under pressure, they justify them. When society frames singleness as something to be fixed, it can cloud even the sharpest judgment.
Success in work doesn’t guarantee fluency in love — because in work, you perform. In love, you reveal
I’ve seen women mistake controlling behavior, like constant check-ins or needing to know their every move, as signs of care. Psychologically, this often ties back to attachment and the deep need for security, especially when someone has internalized the belief that being alone means they’re falling short.
So, it’s not about missing red flags. It’s about overriding them. Doubting your gut. Silencing discomfort to preserve the idea of the relationship. And that’s exactly where emotional safety breaks down.
You describe this as a 'largely unspoken crisis'. Why do you think there's still silence around the emotional and psychological toll of online dating?
Because single shaming is one of the most damaging and least acknowledged forces in our culture.
When society treats singleness like a flaw or failure, it creates silence. People feel pressure to quietly endure bad experiences rather than speak up or ask for better.
Vulnerability is not about being seen. It’s about being safe while being seen
Dating apps only exploit this further. They thrive on urgency, swipes, and the illusion of endless choice, while doing little to protect users emotionally or psychologically.
When you're made to feel like time is running out or that being single is a problem to fix, you're more likely to tolerate red flags, accept mistreatment, or doubt your own instincts.
I’ve seen women stay in unhealthy situations just to avoid being seen as "too picky" or “falling behind.” The result? Anxiety, self-doubt, and a quiet erosion of self-worth. And because the shame is so normalized, people internalize it rather than question it.
That silence is what makes this a crisis and why we need safer, more secure ways for people to connect.
Don't confuse status with substance — emotional maturity doesn’t come with a title
What are some of the most subtle forms of emotional manipulation you've encountered through your work, and why are they often the most dangerous?
Through both research and practice, I’ve seen that the most dangerous emotional manipulation tactics are the ones that don’t look like manipulation at all, which is what makes them so dangerous.
Top 3 based on my experience and research I would say are:
Gaslighting: This is one of the most quietly destructive behaviors. It involves undermining a person’s perception of reality, causing them to second-guess themselves.
For instance: You bring up something that hurt you, and they say, “You’re imagining things.”
Linkked for Life isn’t about swipes or stats. It’s about connection guided by care, trust, and integrity
Love Bombing:
It feels exciting, but it’s often used to create fast emotional attachment and control, not genuine connection.
For instance: They say “You’re the one” in the first week, send constant messages, make future plans quickly, but don’t give you real time to get to know them.
Guilt-Tripping:
This happens when they make you feel bad for setting healthy boundaries and slowly push you to give more than you’re comfortable with.
For instance: You say you’re not ready for something, like spending the night or getting serious, and they say: “I really thought you were liberal. But maybe you’re just like other conservative girls.”
If someone looks good on paper, it doesn’t mean they’re emotionally safe — especially when power masks accountability
These behaviors are dangerous because they feel small at first — even flattering. But they slowly drain your emotional strength and clarity.
Given your background at Meta, how do you view the role of tech platforms in either enabling or preventing these online safety concerns? Are they doing enough?
Like many tools in life, tech platforms can be used for good or harm. It is how we use them that defines their impact. Fire can cook a meal or burn down a home. Medicine can heal or harm, depending on how it is used. In the same way, social media and dating platforms can create opportunities or expose people to real-world risks.
These platforms have undeniably helped businesses grow, amplified marginalized voices, and sparked life-changing relationships. But they have also enabled bad actors to reach people on a scale, often with little accountability.
To their credit, many tech companies invest in content moderation, trust and safety teams, and user reporting tools. I have seen that work firsthand through my role at Meta, supporting them. But the responsibility does not end there.
The responsibility belongs to all of us: as a country that sets laws, a society that shapes norms, families that guide values, and individuals who choose how we show up online.
The courage isn’t in doing it all alone. Sometimes, it’s in letting someone show up for you when you’re not okay
What advice would you give to someone who is thriving professionally but feels completely disoriented in the realm of dating and emotional trust?
I would start by saying: success in one domain does not guarantee fluency in another. The skills that serve us in the professional world — control, independence, strategy — often don’t translate well in the world of relationships, which require vulnerability, surrender, and emotional risk.
In work, you perform. In love, you reveal.
So, if you’re feeling disoriented, pause and ask yourself, who or what is making me feel this way? Often, it’s not just the situation itself, but the messages we’ve internalized over time. Whose expectations are you carrying? What stories have shaped your sense of worth or belonging?
Before you try to power through, reach out. Tap into your support system — friends, family, mentors — the people who see you clearly when you can’t see yourself. We often underestimate the power of our networks. But in moments of emotional exhaustion, they can be the lifeline that helps us stay afloat.
Don’t wait to feel strong and ask for help. Resilience doesn’t mean doing it all alone. Sometimes, the most courageous thing you can do is allow yourself to lean, to rely on those who care for you until you’re ready to take things over.
I keep emphasizing this, both in professional settings and with individuals, the importance of cultivating strong networks. Because in the moments when life feels overwhelming, it’s those connections that anchor us, lift us, and remind us of our strength.
As a psychologist, how do you help your clients differentiate between vulnerability and risk, especially in an environment where 'authenticity' is encouraged but often exploited?
Being authentic doesn’t mean handing over your inner world to anyone who asks. Vulnerability is intentional. It’s sharing something real with someone who has earned enough trust.
So, I help tune clients into context. Who is this person? Have they shown emotional maturity? Is there consistency in how they show up?
Vulnerability is not about giving everything; it’s about knowing what part of yourself to share, when, and with whom. It’s not about being seen, it’s about being safe while being seen.
Being authentic doesn’t mean handing over your inner world to anyone who asks — it means knowing who’s earned access to your truth
You've now expanded your work to include trust and safety for single working professionals. How has that shift shaped your approach compared to traditional relationship counseling?
It’s something I see as preventative work. In traditional counseling, I often meet people after the damage is done, when trust has been broken, and emotional wounds are deep. I sit with their stories of betrayal, confusion, and loss, and we begin the long process of repair.
But with Linkked for Life, I wanted to flip that and become more proactive. Rather than helping people heal after they’ve been hurt, I want to help them before the harm takes place. That means building a process where trust, safety, and emotional clarity are present from the very beginning, not something to search for later.
If there’s one myth about modern dating or digital safety you could permanently bust, what would it be and what truth would you replace it with?
The myth I’d love to bust is this:
"If someone looks good on paper, especially if they’re wealthy or highly accomplished, they must be a great match."
We’re conditioned to believe that certain markers of success — the right job, impressive education, higher socioeconomic status — automatically signal emotional stability or relationship readiness. And when someone is particularly moneyed or influential, we tend to make even more exceptions. We overlook red flags and minimize gut feelings, blinded by materialism.
But in my work as a psychologist, I’ve seen time and again: emotional maturity doesn’t come with a title, and wealth doesn’t guarantee empathy, respect, or self-awareness.
The truth is, someone can be wildly successful professionally and completely unequipped to navigate intimacy, accountability, or emotional safety. In fact, power and privilege can sometimes make it easier for harmful patterns to go unchecked.
So, here’s what I’d replace that myth with:
Don’t confuse status with substance. Character is revealed in the small moments — not in their resume, but in how they treat you when there is nothing to gain.
There’s no shortage of dating apps and matchmaking services out there. What makes Linkked for Life truly different, especially for the kind of discerning professionals you're working with?
That’s a great question and one I’m asked often.
Most dating apps are built for scale, not safety. They’re designed to keep people swiping, scrolling, and staying engaged.
Traditional matchmaking, meanwhile, often focuses on surface-level traits like hobbies, income, education — things that look good on paper, but say very little about emotional maturity or long-term compatibility.
As a psychologist, I’ve seen this firsthand: someone can check every box and still be emotionally unsafe. That insight drove me to examine the gaps in existing models and build a new approach, one that places trust, depth, and psychological safety at the center from the very beginning. Especially in today’s world, where mental health concerns are rising, I find this to be essential.
Linkked for Life fills in what most dating platforms and matchmakers miss. Here’s how:
By invite-only: Every applicant goes through a psychology-based screening, not just of themselves, but with input from close connections. This gives us a much more complete picture of their mental, emotional, and relational health. Only once this process is complete and aligned with our standards are they formally invited to apply.
Facilitated first meetings:
All initial meetings are guided by a professional facilitator. That means no anxiety about who shows up, where to meet, or how to break the ice. It’s designed to feel safe for both people.
Aftercare and accountability:
We don’t leave people to figure it out alone. Every introduction is followed up with care to address ghosting, clarify emotional signals, or offer relationship guidance when needed.
This approach attracts exactly the kind of individuals it was built for — thoughtful, high-caliber professionals who know the value in how you meet matters just as much as who you meet.
INTERVIEW: SUNDUS UNSAR RAJA
LFL website: https://linkked-for-life.getlinkked.com/